We have outsourced this year's Christmas Greetings to keep costs down.
To all those ex-Bougies who are still hanging out in Kalimantan "Selamat Hari Natal dan Tahun Baru"; to all our friends in Papua New Guinea "Hepi Krismas na Hepi Niu Yia"; to everyone else a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Please take some time out from all the merry-making and reflect on the many things you can be grateful for! And ponder again the age-old question,
"Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?"
Here at last is the answer:
Stays up for 12 days and nights,
Has cute balls,
And even looks good with the lights on!
A very Merry Christmas to you all!
(This Christmas I'm putting Mistletoe in my back-pocket
so all the people who don't like me can kiss my ass!)
And here's one for all you hopeless romantics out there to get you into the Christmas spirit of things:
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed, and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."
He replied, "Well, I'm in the pub next door."