The Die Was Cast - My Journey to New Guinea

News items from Bougainville

The Bougainville Aftermath

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13 March 2013

A brief history of the Bougainville Crisis


In late November and early December of 1988 part of the operations of Bougainville Copper Limited (BCL) came under attack resulting in damage to some facilities. Explosives were stolen from the mine magazine by armed men, two buildings were burnt down and a number of other buildings and items of equipment were damaged. On two occasions, transmission pylons carrying power from the coastal power station to the mine were felled using explosives. Although the power supply was rapidly restored on both occasions, in order to minimise further loss and interruption to business, production could not be resumed after the second incident until steps were taken by the National Government to secure BCL’s employees and assets.

Click here to read more.

 

Bougainville Copper Press Release

Click here to open Press Release in separate window

For more information, go to www.bcl.com.pg

11 March 2013

The Bougainville Aftermath



Andrew Liversidge sent me photos taken on a recent trip to Bougainville by Michael Cowan, who now works on Lihir Island for Newcrest Mining.

They should bring back many memories and may shock some of you. They will certainly make you sad when you see what has become of what had been a vibrant community and a very profitable copper mine.

Click here to continue

9 March 2013

John Heads emailed from West Leichhardt River in NW Queensland:

Hello Peter,

I have seen the ex-BCL site on a number of occasions now, great effort and well done. I was one of the later arrivals, though the memories and affection for the place & people are similar to all who had the good fortune to experience time on Bougainville Island.

Lost everything that I owned at the time on the Island, left late March 1990 for a supposed 2 weeks to get a new work visa and come back as a part of care & maintenance, but that never happened.

Probably like a lot of folk, my life really has never been the same since leaving. I have a genuine respect for the local people and the Island itself, not too sure how I’m going to accomplish this next task but I would like to go back and be a part of Bougainville tourism somehow, surfing, fishing and scuba diving would keep me busy I reckon, along with re-establishing Rugby League if possible. Would you know of any ex-BCL or other people interested in my above mentioned interests ? If so, could you please put me in touch with them.

Thank you and regards,

John Heads
email john.heads[AT]hotmail.com

Note by blogmaster: John lives 11 km away from Kajabbi, a seriously remote location in NW Queensland where he is part of the care and maintenance crew at the old Mt. Cuthbert Copper Mine which was owned & operated by a WA company called Matrix Metals that went belly-up circa 2008 as part of the global financial crisis.

6 March 2013

Condolences Peter Trattner

Last Monday, 25th February 2013, long-time Bougainville and Buka resident Peter Trattner passed away.

Peter came to Australia as an assisted migrant on board the
ANGLINA LAURO in March 1967. He spent the first month in
the Bonegilla Migrant Centre before being employed by Hydro
Tasmania at Mersey-Forth in the north-weat of Tasmania.

 

Peter was born in Austria. He came to Australia in the 1960s, moved to Port Moresby (or was it Rabaul?) and finally to Bougainville in the late 1960s to work for PMAR construction managers, Morris Knudsen Fluor, based at Birempa (or Camp 5 as it was then called). Peter was one of the early appointments to the Arawa Town Council, later renamed the Arawa Town Authority. In 1985 he moved to Small Buka where he remained (self employed) right throughout the crisis and the intervening period. An ace tradesman and technician, Peter could turn his hand to any of the building and maintenance trades. Over a friendly chat, a cigarette and a brown bottle (or was it a greenie?), he could fix (almost) anything.

Remember when Peter arrived home from work one day with a huge mound of tin cans on the back of his old Toyota? He'd been down to the Loloho dump and found that SHRM had dumped 75 x 5kg cans of plums because one of the cans was damaged. Peter unloaded the cans then went back to the dump, returning with a small copper hot-water system and a length of copper tube. And, as they say, the rest is history. "You could always tell when Peter had a good brew underway because there was no parking space in either his yard or ours."

He will be sorely missed by those who had the pleasure of meeting him. Some people close to him include Urs & Assumpta Christen, "Buka" Mick & Bertha Michoff, Horst & Nicole Allmann, Reiner & Jill Georgi, Nick & Corinne Crawley, Rudi & Nola Weiss, Freddie Kastner and Fred & Elizabeth Boschart. However, there were many more, both expats and Bougainvilleans, who will remember Peter. Those were good days.

Condolences go to his wife Joanne, son David, daughter Jennifer, and sister Josephine, back in Austria.

RIP, old mate. You will be missed.

3 March 2013

Gray Chandler emailed these photos:

This i believe is the original Adit the geologists used to ascertain the viability of the ore body. It was uncovered during the Pit expansion. Maybe someone from Geology Or Engineering can give us more detail. Was this the only Adit ?????.

cheers,gray chandler
graychandler[AT]bigpond.com


 

And here's a photo of the man himself at the old CAT Shop in 1973 with his right-hand man PUNDI. Al Medwin was Supervisor. Rest of the crew were John Standen, Barney Rogers, Milan Drajic, Peter Moyle, Joe ''BULLSHIT''Jarzinka.

The next one was taken at Loloho. Gray Chandler in lower left-hand corner. The individual in top right with leg in the air is Lawrence "ROCKY" Roe. He was a Fitter on the shiploader. He went on to start "Rocky Roe Photographics" based in Port Moresby. Still there today and doing very well. He did the photographs for a couple of BCL books.


And here are some shots from the 'big riot':


2 March 2013

A message from your blogmaster:

 

 

We've been planning to relocate to Bali for some time but expect to be "stuck" here at "Riverbend" for a few more years yet as there aren't enough buyers with sufficient cash around.


Our last visitors to "Riverbend" were as enamoured with Bali as we are which made us think: why not buy a property in Bali and share it with four like-minded people (or couples)?


Is $100,000 too much to pay for a second home in Bali in which to spend three months of every year? Three months are just about the right length of time to really enjoy Bali and three-month visas are readily available on arrival.


$100,000 for a quarter-share in a property as exquisite as the one shown here is cheap: a large 130 square-metre main building, a smaller 40 square-metre guesthouse, a 90 square-metre 2-metre deep pool, a jacuzzi and several pavillons, and the whole lot set on a landscaped block of 4,430 square-metres which is large by Australian standards and huge in Bali.


And the property is in the north of Bali, away from the tourists, where Bali still is as Bali used to be. And it is in the hills at an elevation of more than a 100 metres where it is cooler and where there are no mosquitoes. And the views out to sea and neighbouring Java Island are something to die for! There is just one problem: three months a year may not be long enough!


Of course, everything would be legally drawn up. You might lose your pale complexion but not your shirt.


Interested? Email me! riverbend@batemansbay.com




 

P.S. This is just a thought bubble. I could afford to go it alone but the thought of such a beautiful property standing empty for three-quarters of the year offends me. It's the sort place that ought to be shared amongst like-minded people.

.

25 February 2013

Bougainville Interlude


With kind permission by Dermott Ryder

 

Late in January 1971, as the aircraft climbed out of early morning smog-bound Sydney and moved north - first call Brisbane and then onto Port Moresby - I reviewed my recent meeting with the pie-in-the-sky recruitment guy and my subsequent life changing decision.

"Bougainville", he told me, with enthusiasm bordering on evangelical fervour, "is a tropical island with an amazing history, fascinating people and great opportunity. It is the home of the Panguna Project; the world's most promising copper mine. You mark my words, Bougainville Copper will become a household name." Neither of us could have possibly foreseen what a prophesy of doom this eventually became.

"Where there's copper, there's gold too", he said, almost bubbling with excitement. "It's a marvellous chance for an adventurous young man, a writer and musician like yourself, to find and embrace new inspiration in a place most people will never be able to visit." He added - gilding the lily a bit - "And with your experience in construction at Mount Newman you have a great deal to bring to the job. That's why the pay and conditions are so good and the company will pay your airfare there and back and put up the expatriate guarantee bond to get you into TPNG." He finished with a conspiratorial stage whisper. "This job will be better than a holiday with pay."

He had a fine line of bullshit, but that was a given so nobody was getting fooled. We had objectives in common. I wanted to travel. He wanted to make quota. He shouted a plate of sandwiches and a couple of beers and it was a done deal.

Two weeks later I found myself, with a slight hangover, at thirty-five thousand feet, flying north and, as luck would have it, sat next to a cynical but talkative self-styled historian. He was returning from annual leave in Sydney to his position in the administration. He declared himself a government man but more accurately and on reflection, I think, he was an opposition man. He gave me the low down on Bougainville, chapter and verse. He spoke with practised and unchallengeable authority. I quickly came to the suspicion that he had written a book or that he had memorised somebody else�s.

"The island of Bougainville", he declaimed, "is 127 miles long and 30 miles wide. It is geographically part of the Solomon Island Group and politically part of Papua New Guinea, and as such is part of the Australian External Territories. The United Nations deemed it so at the end of the Second World War. The act of accepting this hegemony increased Australia's colonial power."

I detected something in the tone of his voice that made clear to me that he did not approve of colonial powers. He sensed this insight and he knew that he definitely had my attention and he warmed to his pompous presentation.

"The history of Bougainville is a grisly story of rampant imperialism", he announced. He was on a roll. "At the end of the 19th century the rapacious representatives of Her Britannic Majesty Queen Alexandrina Victoria and the equally grasping wheeler-dealers of the German Kaiser Wilhelm created an Anglo-German pact that brought sunny smiles to the time-lined features of these two aging, inbred monarchs. British imperialists, the owners of record, gave Bougainville to the German imperialists. They attached their new little gem of empire to German New Guinea. Neither power consulted the native peoples so dramatically affected. Why should they? After all, Europeans were gods." He took a sip of water. He seemed to be pacing himself, speaking in what I later came to know as sound bites. I waited in silence for him to continue and then I listened intently.

In the fullness of time I have edited his potted history into memory as dot points of factual convenience. The main points being that in 1914, at the start of The First World War, the New Colonial Power, Australia, annexed German New Guinea and attached it to Australian Papua - an empire within an empire. Victoria Regina would have been as proud as punch of her colonial children.

During the Second World War the imperial Japanese became the brutal overlord but the imperial Americans, swaggering gods of the cargo cult, kicked them out and introduced chewing gum as an alternative to beetle nut. However, as if to spite the interlopers, the ingenious indigenise combined the two evils and developed the capacity to projectile spit over a great distance. In a less politically correct world this local competitive activity could have become an Olympic sport.

In time the remote and dispassionate United Nations, sensing problems ahead, gave the whole box and dice back to Australia. What goes around comes around shrugged the faceless grey suited undead of Canberra as they recreated the Bureaucracy.

Once again, apparently, the protecting power did not consult the Bougainvillians. However, the island people were growing up and developing a sense of enlightened self-interest. They were becoming politically aware and quite naturally began to object to foreign rule. Their expressions of earnest opposition and protest became particularly vocal in 1969 when the people of central Bougainville learned that their ownership of land extended no more than one metre below their gardens. The land below this depth belonged to 'the crown' a right and title sustained by the ruling power, Australia, and administered by the all-powerful Neo-Colonial Bureaucracy.

This august, humane and forward-looking body granted the right to plunder the copper riches of the island to the company Bougainville Copper Ltd, part of the ugly Australian face of the ravenous Rio Tinto Zinc of London. My airborne informant smiled and laid the whole scam bare.

"Just between you and me", he stage whispered, "the plan was simple: dig up the hill, turn it into a slurry, pump it down to the coast in a pipeline, ship it out, get rich and bugger the bloody kanakas. Best not call them bush kanakas though, at least not directly. Some of them get really agro if you call them that. The tactful, or the hypocritical call them indigenes, not me though, I call a spade a spade." Then he laughed, I think he thought it was a joke.

He continued his address as if quoting from a well-rehearsed lecture. "The simple plan, when implemented, included the destruction of the coastal copra plantations, the obliteration of gardens, the felling of trees and the polluting of rivers and bays." He droned on. The Bougainvillians became stroppy and vociferously voiced their discontent. The police force handled the protesters, particularly the land-owning women, in the time honoured colonial, head-banging way, with hobnailed boots and batons, tear-gas and unlawful imprisonment with cruelty and with impunity.

He stopped for breath and for another drink of water and for a moment I got the feeling that through his half closed eyes he could see the audience he would one day address. Then he was off again.

"Of course, the multinationals won and got the land they wanted and have dug a six kilometre long deep, deep hole at Panguna and are shipping out as much copper and gold as they can before the shit hits the fan. The unprofitable part of the excavation, mostly poisonous tailing's are as we speak being thrown into the Jaba river system thereby killing every living thing in it, most of the riverside flora and an as yet uncounted number of people." Finally he said, with the hint of a sigh, "We have the best bureaucracy money can buy and influence can protect. In the beginning we could have stopped the rape of Bougainville but not now that politics and profits run the game."

At this point I realised that apart from asking for a second cup of coffee I had not spoken a dozen words since taking off from Brisbane. But the thought quickly passed as the cabin steward, a feisty woman with sharp blue eyes and no buttocks, barked out the usual orders for landing. So, cigarettes extinguished, seats upright and tray tables folded away, we landed with a bump at Port Moresby's unprepossessing airport.

We left the aircraft together and walked across the tarmac to the baggage check and customs and immigration table where we said our goodbyes. He was met by a uniformed government chauffeur who took his bags and led him around the formalities and out to a large official car. I, on the other hand, had my documents diligently scrutinised and my belonging rigorously searched and my guitar treated with upmost suspicion.

According to my ticketing details I would have a one-hour wait before boarding my flight for Bougainville so I made my way to a bar and discovered a small crowd of travellers - five New Zealanders, a South African and two North Queensland carpenters - all heading for the island. I also discovered South Pacific Lager, commonly known as swamp piss and quite rightly so. After a couple of beers in good company I asked about the approaching flight departure time and was told, with a great laugh, that the term one-hour in the external territories meant a time period of no particular duration. The flight for Bougainville left three hot, sweaty hours later.

I can only describe the flight as liquid and hilarious. Apart from the construction group and the crisply turned out and up themselves Burns Philp types the rest of the passengers were indigenous and gregarious, and so were their children and sundry livestock. Although all became strangely quiet as we approached the landing strip at Aropa, near Kieta. I joined in the silence when I looked out of the window and discovered that what I had originally thought to be a third class road was the landing strip.

The arrival at Aropa was as chaotic as the departure from Port Moresby. There were no company people there to meet us and nobody knew where we were supposed to be going. Eventually our company truck arrived to collect the South African and me and take us to our accommodation in the Loloho camp. After some discussion and the establishment of an appropriate gratuity the driver agreed to take the New Zealanders and the now seriously hammered North Queenslanders to the wet canteen at Loloho from where they could contact their employers. The negotiations worked and the driver had free beer for a week, courtesy of the incoherent carpenters, and we discovered that alcohol in any form was as good as if not better than legal tender.

The construction camps on Bougainville were similar to those I'd experienced during the early days at Mount Newman. The accommodation was simple. There were neat lines of demountable caravan-like units, each with four two-man compartments. Each compartment contained two beds separated by a small table and two lockers. A table fan, a monument to futility but the only form of air-conditioning available, laboriously moved the heavy, humid, almost oxygen free air around the compartment. This Spartan structure, called a donga, is universal in remote area construction.

For the next instalment of Dermott's story, click here.

 

Bougainville Interlude II


With kind permission by Dermott Ryder

 

For the previous instalment of Dermott's story, click here.

 

My first three nights on the island I spent in a worldwide donga at Loloho, two hundred metres from a wet canteen, a hundred metres from the shoreline and close to the colourful one-room hut of Ali the Barber. He was a real character who made a living cutting hair and selling his daily catch of fish. Then I moved to Camp Eight, Arawa.

The significant difference between my Mount Newman experience and Bougainville was the climate. At Newman the hot, dry days and often cool and comfortable evenings made the place bearable. The brutally hot, humid days and the hot, airless nights made the Bougainville coast the gusset in the underpants of hell. My Western Australian experiences with Bechtel Pacific and Mount Newman Mining in no way prepared me for the Bougainville job. Compared with the shambolic Territorian companies, Bechtel and Newman run like clockwork.

My introduction to the company office and production facilities was a revelation. The site office, the lair of the project manager, his feral general foreman, who was also the owner's son-in-law, two indigenous clerks, a mildly confused draughtsman with an invisible friend, and an expatriate administration clerk with a number of serious issues, was not a model of modern project management - although it would have made a fascinating case study for my earlier project management course.

Our promised contribution to the Panguna Project, called for the building of an ever-changing number of three types of houses. At the low end was the indifferently cobbled together army barrack style, round roof shanties for selected indigenous workers. The second level houses, for expatriate trade contactors and middle management, were largely in keeping with southern expectations. At the top end the upper crust dwellings were, by Bougainville standards, borderline palatial. This was not a classless society.

Several teams of consummate professionals were in the field at any one time. The building plan, handed down from the project office indicated that construction would occur, in job lots and in theory, in seven activities called days, each day's tasks representing the work in progress for the group of houses in the job specification.

For instance, on day one the concrete slabs would be poured and allowed to set. From day two to day six most of the rest of the construction would happen. On day seven the job would be completed, inspected and handed over to the unsuspecting new owners before it fell down. It would be a flight of fancy to translate this sort of seven days into a conventional week. On first acquaintance this "day build" approach seems simple and straightforward. In practice, experience indicates, that madness lies in this direction, especially on Bougainville where time had an elastic dimension.

The building plan with a bill of material also came to our site office, to the workshop and to the store, traditionally, two days after it should have. Fasteners, fittings, fixtures and roofing iron were not a problem. The small stuff came out of the main store and the roofers called for their iron when they wanted it.

The timber wall frames, various panels and roof trusses all required fabrication work. The crunch came here. Timing was always a problem. Everything had to wait its turn in the queue for the workshop, first for the saw men, then for the assemblers and finishers, finally for the loaders. Of course the guys on the sites always got mightily pissed off waiting for something to happen and blamed the workshop for every delay when the fault lay fairly and squarely with the clown of a project manager who couldn�t organize a romantic night out.

Under normal circumstances the set out of this sort of production unit would put the rough timber yard adjacent to the point of entry into the mill and workshop to streamline transport into process of materials for cutting, assembly and eventual despatch to the construction point. In theory nothing could be simpler.

However, this wrong way round epicentre of productivity, planned and built by the project manager and the general foreman, had the rough timber coming in at the point where the finished frames should have been going out. This brought unnecessarily hard work to everybody involved and especially to the indigenous timber carriers. They paid the price of this cock up in sweat and blood. Naturally, the two great brains of the organization, the ancestors of dumb and dumber, blamed each other for this monumental foul up with vaudevillian fervour.

My place in the great scheme of things, in concert with two colleagues, was to translate the blue prints and bills of materials into a timely flow of timber to the mill, roofing iron and fasteners onto trucks and to get everything to the right place, according to the building plans, and at the right time, according to the building schedule.

I was fortunate in my two associate administrators, Michael from Sydney, a quietly spoken, compulsive counter of things was painstakingly accurate in everything he did. This was, on occasion, time consuming and frustrating but proved worthwhile. Roger, a native born and experienced expatriate from the New Guinea highlands town of Mount Hagen was our wise and trusted guide and advisor. We readily accepted and adopted his approach in dealing with and supervising the indigenous workers. Fluent in Pidgin, Motu and Chimbu, he opened our eyes to experiences we would have otherwise missed. Looking back, his influence is hard to overvalue.

The variables that can influence any construction project are legion and change by the minute. Multiply this truism by a very large number and this will give some small indication of the Bougainville experience.

It took about a fortnight, and numerous visits to the house building sites in the project area to discover and confirm that not one of the printed or typed documents provided by the company to do the job was anything like accurate. The mounds of unused materials at every finished house should have been a clue to project management but for all sorts of reasons wasn't. Eventually the excess material always conveniently disappeared, sold off by and to interested parties or gathered by the cargo cult true believers who never let a chance go by.

When we pointed out this misalliance of documentation and material to the project manager he simply shrugged and said: "Fix it lads, that's what we're paying you for." We did fix it, in devious ways and with a small but reasonable profit. Value engineering has many applications.

The only accurate building location plan accessible to us, we discovered, was a hand drawn section of the project area with roads and house sites marked on it with the traditional, thumbnail dipped in tar. The location plan, thumb tacked to the project office wall of the main contractor, we acquired by stealth, or burglary if you will, at the dead of night. Nobody ever commented on its disappearance.

Getting the house building plans was a little more difficult. Neither the mildly confused draughtsman nor his invisible friend had a clue where the file copies could possibly be. The project manager and the general foreman, comfortably ensconced on their own self indulgent cloud nine, were never in the loop. They were simply not trusted. Fortunately we found Darwin Denis, one of the few sane carpenters on the job. He was a first class tradesman and took great pride in his work. He had accurate drawings of the two higher-level houses and just enough larceny in his soul to open the door to opportunity at first knock. He was willing to share his knowledge and his unique paperwork for a consideration that included a conjugal round trip air ticket to Rabaul, where the dark-eyed light of his life resided. The enlightened self-interest of the person who described our carefully worded requests for the appropriate documentation as "freaking blackmail" made the whole thing possible.

The situation settled down remarkably quickly and, apart from the discovery that some weeks earlier one of the teams had built two houses in the middle of a planned road, there were no major incidents to contend with. Fortunately the surveyor responsible for locating the houses had made a number of errors and after some discussion was willing to redraw this tiny section of the map and re-peg several house sites yet to be developed. When completed the short road would be fifty metres south of where the original planner intended it to be but as far as I know nobody ever noticed this very typical Bougainville discrepancy.

All of this focussed activity begs the question: Why would we, why would anybody, put so much energy and effort into the service of a company so marked by remote indifference and cynical ineptitude? The answer, I think, lies in the strong possibility that it was important to us how we spent our time, and what we could achieve in the process. The desire to bring temperate order to tropical chaos was a driving force few could resist. Add to this our scalding contempt for the project management philosophy and our motivation, in hindsight, seems clear enough.

After the initial frenzy of energy sapping activity that marks the early days on remote area construction things usually settle down. The work becomes a process, mostly predictable but with occasions of heightened excitement to alleviate the tedium.

For the next instalment of Dermott's story, click here.

 

Bougainville Interlude III


With kind permission by Dermott Ryder

 

For the previous instalment of Dermott's story, click here.

 

There is, however, another side to the working life in a remote location. Off the job the feeling of social isolation that exists in these places is often disturbing. The ability to cope with this sort of negative sensation is essential. Many on Bougainville relied heavily on memories to protect against the more dysfunctional effects of the place. Does constantly looking back help? Not constantly but from time to time perhaps.

It doesn't take long to realise that nostalgia is an ever-present danger because living too much in the past can drive strong men to drink and lesser men mad. The dedicated survivor, or compulsive hedonist, will find more effective diversions of various sorts, some wholesome, others less so.

Entertainment for many on Bougainville was, in the main, grog, grog and more grog. Drinking, a before and after dinner social activity for most, was a dusk until dawn pastime for more than a few. There was no lack of opportunity and supply was a wide and rushing river. Beers of many lands, whiskey, rum, gin, vodka, bourbon and all sorts of fancy liqueurs were readily available. The thing that surprised me a little was the absence of a local bootlegger. There may have been an illicit still, somewhere, but I never found it. Nor did I hear so much as a whisper of its existence. Perhaps the workforce lacked an industrial chemist with time on his hands and a desire to produce a potable toxin.

Drinkers worldwide often seek new experiences when off the shelf concoctions fail to excite or no longer please. Bougainville drinkers also shared this sense of adventure. Curiosity, human ingenuity and the creative use of available ingredients can bear intriguing alcoholic fruit. Aside from the usual mixing of soft drinks, cordials and fruit juices with spirits the most memorable Bougainville experiment that I recall was the great coconut project.

The initiator of this ground breaking and liver demolishing initiative was one of the contract foremen, Bent by name and bent by nature. He had a double donga set up as living quarters, work office and grog distribution centre. Three large fridges, a glass double fronted cold cabinet and an enormous freezer chest served his beer, sea turtle meat and seafood interests. He had an indigenous labour force of about thirty to do his bidding. Twenty or so highland boys and five ghosts did official contract company work. The remainder, coastal boys, worked on his various off-the-book enterprises. Naturally the company picked up the wage bill for the lot.

The great coconut project was simple and lucrative. The coastal boys selectively harvested the coconuts by shinning up the trees and sending down the nuts at the desired stage of development for husking and transport to a makeshift workshop. There, a highly trained technocrat with a Black and Decker drilled two half-inch holes in one end and drained the fluid remaining in the core, which was then filled with vodka or gin and, according to legend, a secret ingredient. The next stage was to plug the holes with sharpened pegs and stack the prepared coconuts on a purpose build wall rack for several days.

The theory being that the spirit, the secret ingredient and the heat of the day would break down the coconut flesh into alcoholic slurry. This process seemed to work more often than not. The suspension, when extracted from the coconut, formed the base for a mind-numbing beverage usually mixed half and half with tonic or soda water and served in a five-ounce glass. I tried the concoction once. After that I merely observed the results of imbibing. One glass produced good humour and a desire to tell terrible jokes. Two glasses created a powerful sensation of euphoria. Three glasses generated a feeling of omnipotence. Four glasses brought on an out of body experience. No one, as far as I know, ever reached a fifth glass.

Most campers, however, found other forms of entertainment more to their taste. We were, after all, living on a sun-blessed tropical island with wonderful black sand beaches. An ocean filled with exquisitely eatable creatures surrounded us. There were a few creatures that would prefer to eat us, should they get the chance but we weren�t unduly worried. We were alert but not alarmed. Life on the ocean wave had its pleasures.

From Kieta to Buka and back can be a very pleasant sheltered-water ocean journey in a half-cabin boat. A steady hand at the wheel, an esky of grog, an esky of fresh seafood, and a fishing rod to make the fish laugh, will also add to the simple joy of the expedition. A big hat and plenty of zinc ointment on the nose and ears will provide some protection from the sun and wind. The size of the boat will often discourage the smaller sharks but getting into shallow water quite quickly is prudent when the larger sharks are about.

If there is some way to go to reach shallow water the simple expedient of tying a large raw beefsteak to a small unsuspecting passenger and then throwing him overboard may gain those few precious moments required to reach safety.

There are also dangers lurking ashore. For sea-going pilgrims requiring occasional and casual female company the legendary and exclusive place known affectionately as the baby farm became a popular call. There, even an impecunious visitor could purchase an evening of tourist class hetero hedonism plus a souvenir, usually a native bow with arrows, at five dollars for a short time. The business class evening at ten dollars for a longer time and with better quality bow and arrows also came with shower facilities and, courtesy of a back door delivery from Burns Philp, heavily scented soap.

Unfortunately, for those wishing discretion, its powerful, lingering odour was an instantly recognisable giveaway and always generated an excess of lewd humour. It also introduced a new word into the Pigeon English lexicon. The makers and marketers of this powerfully aromatic soap, the choice of film stars, claimed it was worth nine guineas an ounce. The satirists of this demographic gave it an appellation not commonly used in polite society.

Former visitors, in remarking upon this entertaining establishment, may smile and show you a native bow and arrow and then tell you, rather ruefully, of all the rewards that can come with a five or ten dollar package deal.

Commercial fraternisation, of course, did not please everybody. The Christian missionary churchmen, none of them qualified to cast the first stone, were characteristically hostile to the activity. They much preferred their own insidious forms of exploitation. The local lads didn't like it either. They got very miffed when their girls got up to no good with cashed up expatriates when they should have been getting up to no good with the local lads. They weren't being mean. They were just protecting the gene pool. Feelings, at times though, ran very high.

A dapper Buka with a permanent smile and the vocabulary of a Chicago wise guy ran the baby farm operation as a sideline to what he called Mary Jane enterprises. He seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of spectacular grass that he packed into brown paper tea bags that held at least 400 grams and sold for fifteen dollars a bag. The Arawa camp "Old Dope Peddler", named after Tom Lehrer's song of the same name, was his main competition. Sadly, a few months later, the surf and turf war that ensued took them both out of the game.

The darker side of the Arawa camp was, strangely enough, the best lit and was often the noisiest. On busy nights the blasts of high-powered stereo systems added industrial deafness to the list of sexually transmitted diseases available for the asking. The epicentre of this tropical island decadence, known as Faggot Alley, was a row of dongas gaily bedecked in fairy lights and featuring in each cubicle a competitively priced pillow biter stripped down and ready for action.

A vicious old queen called Paul the pimpernel was president of this chamber of commerce. The Old Dope Peddler also had a place of business there. The illustrious Harry Bent, of toxic coconut fame, had the sly grog shop concession. Otto the Pig, an ex Melbourne kneecapper, a bulldozer operator in daylight hours, and his hairy knuckle deputy pigs took care of security and warned off unwelcome visitors. Bougainville being Bougainville neither camp nor company management interfered and I suspect that the invisible local police, well served in their Kieta sly grog shop, were happy to have such a lucrative commercial enterprises on their manor.

For the next instalment of Dermott's story, click here.